First Night
by HR always live on
Summary: A Ruth and Harry one shot I wrote last night when I was having trouble sleeping. Hope you enjoy!


Ruth switched her computer off and leant back on her chair sighing with her eyes closed. In the general scheme of things, today had been a good day. No bombs, no assassinations and nothing going wrong. When she opened them she was surprised to see Harry standing in front of her.

"Are you alright?" he asked her kindly.

"Yes," she said. "Its late that's all. I'm tired."

"Let me give you a lift home," Harry suggested. Ruth smiled and decided she was going to just say yes to spending more time with Harry- however that time was spent.

"Okay," Ruth said getting up from her seat. As they walked down to the car she suddenly realised that she was no longer tired at all.

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><p>She sat in the passenger seat as Harry drove her home through the quiet London streets. The tension between them was rising and they could both feel it almost crackling in the air. Ruth turned and looked at Harry's face which was focusing on the road with more concentration than strictly necessary.<p>

"Thanks for taking me home," Ruth said to break the silence.

"You're welcome," he said in a low voice which made her heart pound faster than usual. He turned and looked at her and they briefly locked eyes. A lot of things seemed to pass in the silence between them. Soon they were pulling up outside her house.

"Do you want to come in?" Ruth asked nervously. She desperately wondered what would happen between them if he did. She no longer felt terrified by the possibility of more, it was more like anticipation of what _would_ at some point happen. Because their feelings for each other, which they had held in silence could not be denied any longer.

"Yes," Harry replied bringing her out of her thoughts. "As long as you're sure?"

"Yes I am," she answered firmly. Harry switched the engine off and followed her into her house. Her front door swung shut behind them both and they found themselves trapped in a confined space in the dark as Ruth suddenly found herself unable to concentrate enough to find the light switch. Within the small hallway she could tell straight away when Harry moved infinitesimally closer to her. And he could tell that the effect of that movement was that her breathing got heavier very quickly. That encouraged him to close the gap further and slowly he placed his hands around her waist. He kept leaning closer towards her, praying that she wouldn't stop him. She didn't.

He brushed his lips against hers so softly it made her quiver. Her hands wrapped around his neck and pulled him closer. He didn't resist at all. In fact it took maybe five seconds for Ruth to feel her back pressed up against the wall. The kiss got more intense the longer it lasted. Ruth gasped as his hands slipped under the fabric of her blouse, skimming softly against her bare skin. As she did, he backed away from her but left his hands on her waist. In the darkness she couldn't see the look on his face and wondered why he had stopped kissing her. She knew they had both been enjoying themselves immensely. Or she had been at least.

"What's wrong?" she asked breathlessly. "What is it?"

"I should go," he murmured.

"What?" Ruth asked surprised. "Why? Do you not want to…" she trailed off and Harry kissed her lightly and reassuringly.

"Of course I want to," he said in a low growl. "You have no idea how much I want to stay here. But I think I should go."

"Why?" Ruth asked completely confused.

"Because I can't trust myself," he said honestly. "I don't know how long I can keep my hands off of you and I don't want to rush you or pressure you. I can't trust myself."

Ruth raised a hand to his face and allowed her fingers to caress his cheek lovingly. "You might not trust yourself but I trust you," she whispered sincerely.

"Ruth…"

"No," she said firmly. "I trust you. And I don't want you to leave." She wouldn't usually be this forward but things like this were easier to say in the dark when she couldn't see his reaction. She could however feel his eyes boring into hers.

"Are you sure?" he asked hoarsely. She didn't reply with words. Instead she kissed him. He didn't need much persuasion to kiss her back. His hands rose from her waist slowly up her back, feeling the contours of her body. He took his time, wanting to savour these precious moments. The first time he had allowed himself to touch her like this.

Minutes after the start of their intense kiss she broke away from him and held his hand tightly and with meaning. So incredibly slowly she walked away from the wall and in the direction of the stairs. She felt drunk because she never would have behaved like this usually. She decided she in fact, was drunk. Intoxicated by his presence near to her.

Harry got the point immediately. He thought he should probably check that she definitely wanted this but he didn't. He wasn't that much of a gentleman, not when he had wanted her for so long. He followed her upstairs.

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><p>Ruth woke up happier than she could remember being in a long long time. Her head was resting on Harry's shoulder, nestling into his body and she was breathing him in. She was enjoying the novelty of waking up next to him and considered the possibility that this was one particular novelty that would never wear off. She turned over and watched his face relaxed in sleep. She draped an arm over his chest and let her hand feel the skin of his chest, running over the scars that marred his body. Her hand drifted to the scar on his shoulder that showed where Tom Quinn had shot him so many years before. The moment that she realised her feelings for him went beyond professional courtesy. Her fingertips lovingly touched the puckered scar tissue thinking of how close she came to losing him that day.<p>

"Stop it," Harry whispered. Ruth looked up into his face surprised to find him awake. "Don't focus on my scars. Please stop it." She could see that he felt vulnerable. That he felt that she was seeing his weaknesses and she didn't like what she saw. Nothing could be further from the truth.

"Do you know what I was thinking?" Ruth asked quietly with one hand still on his gunshot scar.

"No and I don't want to," he said in a hurt voice. She ignored that and carried on.

"I was thinking that I was so unbelievably grateful you didn't die that day," Ruth said. "I was so scared when I heard you'd been shot. That was the moment I realised you meant more to me than just my boss or co-worker. That scar shows me the moment I fell in love with you. So no. I am not going to stop it." She leant closer to him and pressed her lips against the gunshot wound, taking her time to breathe him in.

"Don't you find it… hideous or disgusting?" he finished wondering how she could touch him with such feeling.

"Oh Harry, of course I don't," she said sadly with a hand curving itself around his cheek. "Your scars show me that you are lucky to still be here. To still be alive. That can never be a bad thing in my eyes." She paused thinking over what she wanted to say to him before continuing. On what she wanted to make him realise. "How did you feel last night when your hands were shaking when you touched me and held me and made love to me?"

"God, Ruth, I can't even put it into words," he said as a hand stroked her hair lightly. "It felt… incredible. It felt like finally, after all this time we were doing something so unbelievably right and wondrous together. It felt like you were the most precious thing in the world and I never wanted to let you go."

"That's how I feel when I touch you," she said. He was silent for a minute absorbing what she had told him and Ruth felt relieved that she had finally got her point across to him.

"I didn't think you'd noticed my hands were shaking," he said after a minutes silence.

"Of course I did," Ruth said with a smile as Harry's arms tightened around her waist. "Honestly? It made me feel special."

"You are special," he said, kissing the top of her head as her limbs draped over his body in a careless manner. It didn't take long before she drifted off to sleep again.

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><p><em>I'm really not sure I like this. Please leave a review to let me know what you think. <em>


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